Master Tells Jokes
No Bullets
Family Matters
The Making Of Ancestors
Monkey Business
Spoken By Supreme Master Ching Hai, Hsihu, Formosa
February 22, 1996 (Originally In Au Lac Language)
There was a man whose house was being robbed. The robber pointed
a gun at the man and asked him to give him his money and
valuables. The man then told him, "To tell you the truth,
nowadays the economy has gone down. My company has almost gone
bankrupt, so I don't have anything for you. So if you
shoot me, it won't do you any good. Even though we look like
this, we don't have any more money. We also have many debts.
The robber sighed, "That's right. Lately, all the houses
that I've robbed had nothing. Look at my gun, I don't even
have money to buy bullets. He couldn't even feed his gun!
(Laughter)¡¹ |
¡i¡j====================
Spoken By Supreme Master Ching Hai, Hsihu, Formosa
February 22, 1996 (Originally In Au Lac language)
A girl went to the hospital to visit a famous movie star who
had a minor accident while making a film -- probably a
broken arm, foot or something. As soon as she knocked on the
door an old woman opened it. The old woman said, "We've already
left a sign outside. Only family members can come in to visit.
Didn't you see it?
The girl answered, "Of course I saw it. I am his younger sister.
The old woman said, "Oh really! Honored to meet you. I'm his
mother. (Laughter)¡¹ |
¡i¡j====================
Spoken By Supreme Master Ching Hai, Hsihu, Formosa February 22, 1996
In one classroom, a teacher was explaining to the class that
their ancestors were Adam and Eve. A little child raised his
hand and said, "My father taught me differently. The teacher
asked, "What? The little child answered, "My father said that
our ancestors were monkeys.
And the teacher replied, "That's your family's business. It has
nothing to do with us. (Laughter)¡¹ |
¡i¡j====================
Spoken By Supreme Master Ching Hai, Hsihu, Formosa February 22, 1996
(Originally In Au Lac language)
A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind
of monkey business are you getting up to?
He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not
following any of the rules. I'm turning him in. The boss said,
"Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to
take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!
So the policeman took the monkey out. Three or four days later,
he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the
monkey to the police car, opened the door, put it in, and was
about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked,
"Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to
take it to the zoo. The policeman replied, "Yes, sir.
I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to
see a movie. (Laughter)¡¹ |
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