You May Not Know

There was a story about a monk. I think it was in America, also an American monk. He wrote a book about his experiences as a monk in a monastery before.

When he was a monk, in that monastery, he abided strictly by the rules of that place. Just like what time to do what, you know, working in the garden, time to eat, time to pray and time to sleep again. Any kind of thing he abided strictly by the rules, and was always concentrated. He didn't think of complaining and wanting to change the policy of the monastery of that order.

When he ate, he was not used to the food in the monastery; it was kind of simple food. Sometimes the monks, mostly bachelors, young and didn't know how to cook, so the food was awful. He had to admit it. But then later, as he lived there longer, he tried to accommodate himself and ate without thinking. He ate whatever food was in front of him, and that's how he felt more peaceful within his heart.

Then he had really some spiritual elevation, even without initiation, the master or anything like that. Perhaps that's how many secret Catholic or Christian orders attained their enlightenment to some degree. So, he had attained sainthood in some degree by surrendering entirely to God and completely accepting whatever fate brought him. Therefore, his mind never wondered about whether it was good or bad, whether to change the habits or the monastery's rules, anything like that.

He wrote some very, very good experiences. So, I just mean to tell you that the purity of the heart is very, very important for spiritual practice.

I have to be father, mother, judge, the policeman, angel and Yama King at the same time. The king of the nether world, you don't know him. My friend. If you are not behaving yourselves, I'll send you to him, saying, "Well, take care of them." The king of the nether world, the lord of karma, he takes care of our give-and-take so that we will be clear when we leave the world. If we are not clear, we can't leave. We have to come back.

The master sometimes takes on the role of that kind of lord karma, part of it; so that he can immediately cleanse the karma of the so-called disciples -- doesn't matter how painful it is for both sides -- so that he is clean so he can leave this world easily. It's very, very difficult.

I'm very happy for you and for myself that you have always understood and forgiven me, even though you don't understand what I do sometimes. You don't understand why I scold that person, why I send that person away, or why I treat that person more special than you. You perhaps don't understand all the time, but I'm very grateful and happy that you always forgive me.

Even you don't know it's right or wrong, you forgive me. That's already very good for me and good for you because that means you are very generous, you are very tolerant, you are very gentle, very wise inside. That means you have matured in wisdom and spiritual practice. That's very, very good for you. Of course, if you forgive me, I feel very relaxed and no pressure, no misunderstanding, bad energy. That's good for me, too. But above all, it's very, very good for you. That's why I'm happy. I hope you continue in this spirit, trying to understand things at a deeper level of consciousness and not from the outer appearance.

If you didn't understand me, I would be the most lonely person in this world. It would also give you a lot of pain in your heart; because you are harboring this kind of misunderstanding, this kind of negative energy towards me. That also hinders your spiritual practice. So, for either side, it's no good.

Sometimes I feel very, very lonely, because surrounding me are not always good and forgiving people. They always have their negative traces, maybe from last life, or maybe from this life, they learned from society.

Even children, very, very unforgiving. Sometimes, when they see me at work, if I scold someone else, they get scared, too, and then they don't like me. That, sometimes, makes me feel very painful. Not because I've lost them, but because it always happens that you can never do your job without having side effects to some degree. You cannot, with so many people. I cannot always avoid unpleasant moments for everyone or for the children.

So, sometimes when I see people have misunderstood me or shied away from me, I feel hurt also. I feel very lonely. But nevertheless, my job has to be done. So, whatever the price, I pay.

Eventually, when we all go up to a very high level of consciousness, we all look down together, then we'll all have a good laugh; because we were all very stupid then, taking theater for real, looking at the reflection in the mirror for the true image. So, we will be laughing at ourselves at the final moment when we join together at a very, very, very high level of wisdom.

For that very noble and high goal, I sacrifice everything and I can go through any hardship, misunderstanding, negative thick fog of energy because I know eventually there is nothing there at the other end. There's only brightness, beauty, grace, love and harmony at the other end. That's how I can continue. Otherwise, to be a teacher of any kind is a very lonely position. When all the students have graduated, grown up, have a good job, and understood and appreciated you, you will probably already be in the grave or have suffered a lot of psychological pressure, sickness.

Why is an enlightened master so lonely? It is because, even though there is someone who understands the Truth, he doesn't understand it completely; he can only understand after he has practiced for a period of time -- which could be a very long time. The enlightened master must educate and care for him painstakingly and laboriously before he attains this fruit. Before reaching this attainment, this person is still not stable. He may believe today, but he may change his mind the next day! That is why it is so arduous to be an enlightened master.

When we read Milarepa's story, we know how his master (Marpa) treated him, very unkindly and sternly. However, by doing so, this master also felt very pained. Even his wife didn't understand him and was always on Milarepa's side. She even help him to cheat the master -- her husband, because he refused to impart the method to Milarepa at that time.

Milarepa was the greatest and most prominent enlightened master of the Esoteric Sect. Before meeting his master, he had practiced many methods -- heretical paths and magical powers. He harmed many people and so incurred very heavy karma. He followed Marpa with strong faith. Dreading his heavy karma, he was very earnest in seeking the Truth. He was very anxious and agitated, and pressed his master to impart the method to him. However, his master refused, because Milarepa was still impure then. His karma was so heavy that even if he had been taught the method, he would not have been able to practice it.

Therefore, Milarepa's master tested him for seven years before transmitting the method to him. In these seven years, the master had a bitter life. Everyday he had to punish Milarepa, tell him to build houses and then to demolish them. To his master, whatever Milarepa did was wrong and bad, and he was rewarded with scoldings and beatings.

The reason was not that his master was vicious by nature, but that Milarepa's karma was exceedingly heavy. Therefore, the master had to first cleanse his karma thoroughly by instructing him to practice ascetically; by imposing humiliation, scoldings and beatings on him; and by letting him work laboriously. In this way, his heavy karma and vicious character was cleansed, after which his master transmitted the method to him.

However, Milarepa felt extremely painful during these seven years. Anything he did he couldn't please the master and make him impart the method to him. From the views of outsiders, it seemed that Milarepa's master was very cruel.

The truth is, his master was also in great pain himself. He didn't like to punish his disciple; but, to cleanse Milarepa's heavy karma, he had to use very stern methods. Though very pained within, he had to carry on.

Even his wife did not understand his ways and blamed him everyday. She said, "Milarepa works so hard, and is so pious and good. Why do you still refuse to transmit the method to him, and treat him so severely instead?" Here, we can see how lonely an enlightened master is.

Marpa's wife spent her entire life with him and they practiced together. We would think that she should understand him, right? (A: Yes!) In the end, even she couldn't understand, not to mention the outsiders or the other disciples.

Therefore, Shakyamuni Buddha said that only a Buddha can understand the wisdom of a Buddha. Even a Bodhisattva cannot understand; only a Bodhisattva of high level can understand a little.

Jesus Christ also said, Don't give pearls to swines. He told His disciples, To you people who understand, I'll explain clearly in words and ways; I won't tell the people outside. I'll only tell them stories to help them understand, but I will not tell them everything. Therefore, Jesus Christ was also lonesome.

Shakyamuni Buddha said that only a Buddha can understand a Buddha, but how many Buddha's can you find in this world? So, He was really lonely. Only after He had practiced for a very long time did He then find His first disciple -- Mahakasyapa. He trained him for a long time to make him a Buddha, and to succeed Him. Other people simply didn't understand.

Ananda was closest to the Buddha by attending to Him for over twenty years, yet he didn't understand the Buddha. He didn't achieve the great enlightenment. Only after Shakyamuni Buddha had left, and he was scolded by Mahakasyapa, then Ananda practiced hard to reach enlightenment. So, even Shakyamuni Buddha's closest disciple didn't understand Him; no one did.

I read from the scripture that, when Shakyamuni Buddha was dying, only Ananda was by His side. Shakyamuni Buddha told him, I will soon enter nirvana! Quickly tell the five hundred disciples outside, so that they can come back to see their Master for the last time. Ananda hurriedly went to summon them. At that time, these five hundred disciples were having fun outside and doing their things, unaware that their Master was to leave the world soon. He was about to leave them! Receiving the message from Ananda, they hastily went inside to bid farewell to Shakyamuni Buddha, and then went out to play again. They were really like children, ignorant of everything.

When reading this scripture, I almost shed tears. A very great Buddha, famous even today, had only Ananda by His deathbed. He summoned the disciples to come back, but they soon went out again!

Shakyamuni Buddha told Ananda that He could stay in the world of samsara, but Ananda didn't understand His implication and so didn't request the Buddha to stay. Since Ananda didn't ask, the Buddha could not stay; so He had to leave the world.

From this we know that, even the closest disciple cannot understand the master, not to mention the people outside. Therefore, it is natural for a spiritual practitioner to be lonesome. However, we have never thought about this. We think that attaining Buddhahood is the greatest happiness, the most glorious position. It is true that they are happy; but as long as there are sentient beings in pain, the Buddhas cannot be happy. They are happy when they enter nirvana. In this world of samsara, they can never be happy, because when sentient beings suffer, I suffer; when sentient beings are ill, I am ill. It is stated clearly in the Vimalakirti Sutra. Originally, the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas have no pain or illness; but because sentient beings have illnesses, they are ill, too.

When reading the scriptures, we fail to catch the main points or grasp the profound meanings in them. We only worship the Buddha and pray for His help and blessings, and so on. We never pray to Him to give us Buddha's wisdom, and that is why we have not gotten it. The Tao Te Sutra also mentions that the Truth is not to be explained in words. Though Lao Tze understood it, he could not explain it to many people, only to a small group. Therefore, Lao Tze was also very lonely.

When the Master Dao Sheng gave lectures, no one listened to him. It was said that not more than fourteen persons had listened to him. Therefore, he went into the mountains and talked to the rocks. Have you heard of this story? Do you know about it? (Someone: Yes!) People said that he was a heretic. Master Dao Sheng lectured to the rocks on the mountain, and then asked them whether they agreed or not. The rocks nodded. (Master and audience laugh.)

Therefore, do not think that we, humans, are the cleverest. Sometimes, rocks are smarter than us. We, humans, are not enlightened; but a dragon girl became enlightened. We learned from the Buddhist scriptures that only humans can become Buddhas, isn't that right? However, in the Lotus Sutra, Shakyamuni Buddha told us a story contradictory to this. He said that a dragon girl had also become a Buddha, and immediately -- that quick (Master snaps Her fingers). The dragon girl was not an adult; she became a Buddha at the age of eight!