Before the New Year Festival 4-Day Retreat, I prayed for only one thing:
"Master, I don't expect any wonderful inner experiences during this retreat.
I only need You to make me a better wife, a more tolerant mother... simply a
better me! Because I am so sick inside, please help me!"
It was very cold and rainy throughout the retreat. Coping with this kind of
weather is difficult for me, so I reminded myself not to complain nor pray
to Master for any physical comfort, lest She would have to bear it for all
of us.
One day, I experienced a severe migraine. I threw up and could not meditate.
I constantly recited the holy names and gave myself some encouragement. At
lunch time, I dragged myself to the kitchen area to get some warm tea and
watch Master's video in Chinese. Though I could not understand the language,
I strongly sensed Her divine love electrifying my body, filling it with
energy.
Suddenly, I thought about my husband: how kindly he treats me, and how
repeatedly ungrateful I have been to him -- something he didn't deserve. I
felt this way before, but only now it was a deeper, true repentance with
love flowing in my heart. I felt the power to change.
Master's love choked me to tears and reminded me of my only prayer at the
beginning of the retreat. In seconds, the pounding headache surprisingly
subsided to almost nothing.
That evening, Master said that when our body is sick, we transcend. From my
own experience, physical illness is a blessing for us.